Okay bloggy, I'm going to write here now because I've got somethings on my mind. One is I wonder how I'm going to make it some days. I'm 23, not ancient, but not incredibly young and hopeful anymore - I wonder why I feel so old and I'm really not. I just feel like I'm trying to catch my life, but it's not happening. I don't know, maybe I'm not really all that ready to talk with you, bloggy. You seem nice enough, but I don't know. Let me try it this way...
I'm on one of those dumb dating sites. I say dumb, because you basically get a collection of people together who are trying to find someone, but because of whatever reason we make up, we're on this site with other similarly situated human beings. We've failed in the traditional western system in which friendships, one night stands, coffee house run-ins eventually become a relationship that eventually becomes a marriage. This raises a lot of interesting questions - let's say, just for a moment, that I find 'the one' on this site (is there really only one?), what great story am I going to tell the kids about how dad met mom, and how can I tell my son or daughter about dating and building healthy relationships because I obviously can't do it. Another question - what's so wrong with me (and everyone always says there's nothing wrong with you - insert condescending, but sympathetic look here - but they either a) have rejected you at some point or b) have some great wonderful super amazing person in their life) that this is what I'm doing with my life. I'm gambling on mathematical algorithms or something to find the right one. Yikes. I trust random chance a bit more, but she hasn't been gracious of late. Or am I just blind and dumb. That's quite possibly the answer there too.
Anyway, today I got to cancel an event - always a sadness, but it'll be rescheduled. I'm going to go home, try to figure out how to get some work done and then...well...I don't know, bloggy, you might be hearing from me again!
J
