Bloggy-
So today I have a final. Guess who hasn't studied? That's right, me. And what am I doing? Blogging (something I've done with regular inconsistency since September), so we know where I stand on the whole studying issue. Anyway, I've got an ethical issue that I'm sorting out. And it's this kind of ethical dilemma (?) that will bar me from hiring a single youth pastor if, God forbid, I become a real pastor. I'm not attracted to a student or former student (just to clear that up for everyone), so it's nothing like that. I just - what's the wisdom of asking out one of your adult sponsors? Probably not very. Especially if she seems the type who doesn't date all that much. She's much quieter than I am - that's for sure. I'm not even positive why (by the way, I am studying right now as I blog...yay...) I'm attracted to her. She's very sweet, very kind, she connects well with students - - - I think she's funny. But heck, I think this about a ton of people. And to prove my shallowness as a man, yes, she is very pretty. I don't know. The best way to solve this quandary is by dating lot's of women who aren't her and aren't volunteers in my youth group. First, that'll prove my manly prowess and virility (right?) and show that I shouldn't date someone who is much quieter than I am because I would just dominate them in conversation and everything else. Okay, so in that last sentence, I just ran the course of the 'what if' and it seems like a good decision to not ever date for any reason. Awesome.
Okay, maybe that was a bit over the top. But seriously. I won't be asking her out. Yes. That realization came to me as I typed. Why won't I? Basic reasoning - it would be amazingly awkward if she said no. Second, that would totally be an abuse of authority for me to do so. Third, it'd raise (unwarranted) suspicions as to why I ask any woman to help out with the youth group. Fourth, I fear rejection. Fifth, she's way younger than I am (did I mention she's a freshman?). Sixth, if she says yes and then we do date and things click really well, then the other women (and possibly men) would feel threatened by her continued presence. Seventh, picking up on the last point, my relationship past is dotted with breakups (hence singless now...logic! It's so wonderful!), so if that trend continues (and someday I hope it'll break) what happens to the students when we break up? You see how smart I am? Very. Eighth, asking her out would be a tactic admission of either a)laziness b) lack of options or c) lack of creativity, because I mean, seriously, she's one of only six or seven collegiate women I see on a regular basis.
Wow. I'm amazing. I didn't even need you bloggy. Okay, so I did, but only to process. For a long string of one's and zero's you're a great listener. I'm the man. That's right, I Da Man!
Showing posts with label ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ministry. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
"Why Can't We All Just Get Along"
Bloggy-
I was stopped by the cops last night. Yeah. That's right. the 5-0. I was minding my own business as a law abiding citizen who was walking his dog and out of nowhere there's a cop a following me. It's true, I did just walk two of my students back to one of their homes (it was cold and dark and Hartford is a dangerous town). So that might have been sketch for someone who didn't know me. So he stops me. Asks me what I'm doing (it was a little obvious...walking my dog). He asks for I.D.. Tells me why he stopped me (Blacks aren't allowed in this part of town...j.k.! 'someone' was 'walking their dog' and messed with some 'boxes'.). My name gets radioed in. Great. And then he lets me go. He was nice enough. He didn't beat me. Or taser me. Or mace me. He feared Josiah.
Dr. J.
I was stopped by the cops last night. Yeah. That's right. the 5-0. I was minding my own business as a law abiding citizen who was walking his dog and out of nowhere there's a cop a following me. It's true, I did just walk two of my students back to one of their homes (it was cold and dark and Hartford is a dangerous town). So that might have been sketch for someone who didn't know me. So he stops me. Asks me what I'm doing (it was a little obvious...walking my dog). He asks for I.D.. Tells me why he stopped me (Blacks aren't allowed in this part of town...j.k.! 'someone' was 'walking their dog' and messed with some 'boxes'.). My name gets radioed in. Great. And then he lets me go. He was nice enough. He didn't beat me. Or taser me. Or mace me. He feared Josiah.
Dr. J.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Bloggy-
So it's been forever since I checked in last and let you know what was going on in my life and we did a little processing, so this may be short, it may be long or it just may be...itself. We'll see.
Anyhow, on the relationship front, I finished the fight in Halo 3. I know - sounds ridiculous, but seriously, it's freaking Halo 3! And what gamer doesn't fall a little in love with Cortona? Or at least want to make sure she's okay? If you don't, then I don't think you deserve to play the game. So I went over to John C. Wengatz and played with a bunch of the guys on the floor for about a total of seven hours and I was amazed at the graphics, the game play, and most importantly, the story. Halo the series, as much of an action game as it is, actually has a very compelling narrative before - I don't think it'll go down in the annuls of history as on par with "The Great Gadsby", "The Divine Comedy" or "The Song of Roland", but it's better than most video games that I've heard of or played. Anyway, I could go on about the Master Chief for awhile, but I won't. Let's just say that the game is amazing.
In other news, well...let's see...I don't have a lot of other news. Let me assure that my life has been pretty boring. Youth group is going pretty well for High School and Middle School and that's kept me pretty busy. Hmmm...that about covers it yo.
Alright, I'm out.
Dr. J
So it's been forever since I checked in last and let you know what was going on in my life and we did a little processing, so this may be short, it may be long or it just may be...itself. We'll see.
Anyhow, on the relationship front, I finished the fight in Halo 3. I know - sounds ridiculous, but seriously, it's freaking Halo 3! And what gamer doesn't fall a little in love with Cortona? Or at least want to make sure she's okay? If you don't, then I don't think you deserve to play the game. So I went over to John C. Wengatz and played with a bunch of the guys on the floor for about a total of seven hours and I was amazed at the graphics, the game play, and most importantly, the story. Halo the series, as much of an action game as it is, actually has a very compelling narrative before - I don't think it'll go down in the annuls of history as on par with "The Great Gadsby", "The Divine Comedy" or "The Song of Roland", but it's better than most video games that I've heard of or played. Anyway, I could go on about the Master Chief for awhile, but I won't. Let's just say that the game is amazing.
In other news, well...let's see...I don't have a lot of other news. Let me assure that my life has been pretty boring. Youth group is going pretty well for High School and Middle School and that's kept me pretty busy. Hmmm...that about covers it yo.
Alright, I'm out.
Dr. J
Monday, September 10, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
"And the rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous alike"
Bloggy-
It's been raining all day and last night and it's going to storm this afternoon (according to the weather man)...I've got to decided whether or not to call off my festival this afternoon. I'm guessing yeah. Hmmm...
John
It's been raining all day and last night and it's going to storm this afternoon (according to the weather man)...I've got to decided whether or not to call off my festival this afternoon. I'm guessing yeah. Hmmm...
John
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
"Shiny"
Bloggy-
I'm stoked - a friend of mine is going to let me learn some youth min stuff from her, and that's pretty awesome. Beyond that, I think after talking with the boss man, I've got a rough idea of a plan for the semester. Hopefully. Okay. Work.
Dr. J.
I'm stoked - a friend of mine is going to let me learn some youth min stuff from her, and that's pretty awesome. Beyond that, I think after talking with the boss man, I've got a rough idea of a plan for the semester. Hopefully. Okay. Work.
Dr. J.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
"Rescue is comming..."
Bloggy-
Okay, it's time to play some catch up because I've got a lot on my heart and mind and you just need to sit back and get ready to read kid! Anyway, we'll start with Tim's wedding - he's married! It was a great wedding, it was outside (and sooooooooo hot!) and Erin was beautiful. I didn't cry...well maybe I did, but the sweat covered it up pretty well (gross!). The wedding was in Ft. Wayne at a park - and that was just super. I got to see three of my best friends from High School, and that's always good. The best and weirdest part comes with one of the wedding guests in particular. Bloggy, think hard, back to the awkwardness of "Drinks with the ex-", now imagine that quadrupled and then add her husband into the mix. Okay, well, not put that at a wedding where I went by dateless. Okie dokie - but here's the deal, it was good to see them both. I enjoyed getting to catch up with Matt and here how his whole career is going; it was good (but really weird) to dance with Sara (her idea, not mine - okay, so that was REALLY STRANGE, but I learned something from Matt during that whole thing - once you're married, it becomes about trust. Jolly good job Matt). Anyway, so yeah. Weirdness, but weirdness that grows.
So I came home from the wedding the next day (Sunday) - I was supposed to be at church by 9:00 am to help downstairs, but had alarm problems and wound up leaving at 9:10 am or so and made it to the church by 9:47 am. Yeah. I'll let you do the math on that one, but let's just say if I'd gotten pulled over I was going to jail. So the afternoon at church went alright - hung out and went to a cookout. It was awkward. Really, really awkward. Not in the growing way, but in the awkward way. I don't even know where to begin there. But, moving right along, I met later that night in C-bus with a friend and we had coffee of sorts and talked and hung out and as I sat across from her, a conversation that two separate people on two separate occasions came to me - so I kept things in the happier realm where no one would have to think. That's the American Way!
Wow, let's just skip most of the week with this description: Meetings, stress, overworked, confused, blah. But bloggy, I've got a new friend that I've been worried about and haven't told her yet. I don't know her well, I don't see her often, and we don't talk on the phone ever, and we probably don't agree on an issue or two, but she's beautiful and wonderful and been an encouragement and a rescuer to me and she's sad now - I know that sounds very 1st grader, but sometimes that's the best way to express your soul. Oh bloggy - sorrow has overwhelmed her shores, and darkness hedges her in as though light were about to be extinguished and the ground she walks upon is ablaze in apathetic regard to her, but I pray that somehow, someway, she would see God.
Well, I need to work some more - I'm reading background material on...well...it's Thomas Aquinas and it's just good to read to be able to answer questions that my kiddies ask. Take her easy bloggy.
Dr. J
Okay, it's time to play some catch up because I've got a lot on my heart and mind and you just need to sit back and get ready to read kid! Anyway, we'll start with Tim's wedding - he's married! It was a great wedding, it was outside (and sooooooooo hot!) and Erin was beautiful. I didn't cry...well maybe I did, but the sweat covered it up pretty well (gross!). The wedding was in Ft. Wayne at a park - and that was just super. I got to see three of my best friends from High School, and that's always good. The best and weirdest part comes with one of the wedding guests in particular. Bloggy, think hard, back to the awkwardness of "Drinks with the ex-", now imagine that quadrupled and then add her husband into the mix. Okay, well, not put that at a wedding where I went by dateless. Okie dokie - but here's the deal, it was good to see them both. I enjoyed getting to catch up with Matt and here how his whole career is going; it was good (but really weird) to dance with Sara (her idea, not mine - okay, so that was REALLY STRANGE, but I learned something from Matt during that whole thing - once you're married, it becomes about trust. Jolly good job Matt). Anyway, so yeah. Weirdness, but weirdness that grows.
So I came home from the wedding the next day (Sunday) - I was supposed to be at church by 9:00 am to help downstairs, but had alarm problems and wound up leaving at 9:10 am or so and made it to the church by 9:47 am. Yeah. I'll let you do the math on that one, but let's just say if I'd gotten pulled over I was going to jail. So the afternoon at church went alright - hung out and went to a cookout. It was awkward. Really, really awkward. Not in the growing way, but in the awkward way. I don't even know where to begin there. But, moving right along, I met later that night in C-bus with a friend and we had coffee of sorts and talked and hung out and as I sat across from her, a conversation that two separate people on two separate occasions came to me - so I kept things in the happier realm where no one would have to think. That's the American Way!
Wow, let's just skip most of the week with this description: Meetings, stress, overworked, confused, blah. But bloggy, I've got a new friend that I've been worried about and haven't told her yet. I don't know her well, I don't see her often, and we don't talk on the phone ever, and we probably don't agree on an issue or two, but she's beautiful and wonderful and been an encouragement and a rescuer to me and she's sad now - I know that sounds very 1st grader, but sometimes that's the best way to express your soul. Oh bloggy - sorrow has overwhelmed her shores, and darkness hedges her in as though light were about to be extinguished and the ground she walks upon is ablaze in apathetic regard to her, but I pray that somehow, someway, she would see God.
Well, I need to work some more - I'm reading background material on...well...it's Thomas Aquinas and it's just good to read to be able to answer questions that my kiddies ask. Take her easy bloggy.
Dr. J
Sunday, August 5, 2007
"Came down like fire from heaven"
Bloggy-
I wonder if anyone could identify all the random film/musical/literary quotes that I use to title you? Anyway, I gave the message at Grace and NCW today, and it went pretty well. We talked about Psalm 51 and 2 Corinthians 5 - I think the delivery was better at NCW (I was able to wear jeans with holes and my 1Life T-shirt) because I had time and didn't feel rushed by having to cram a bunch of stuff in. Anyhoo, I'm tired. My mom came up and we had lunch with two families from church, which leads to an interesting conversation I had with interesting consequences. One of hte families that came over for lunch works with kids at Riley Hospital who have cancer, and one of the families that they help has a dying daughter. Long story short, she was getting better, then got worse, she will die in the next month and then her family goes back to Kenya without her in her body. So tommorow I'm going to go to Indy and counsel this family on matters of death, talk to this little girl and prep her for eternity. Let me say, Bloggy, if you were ever considering stopping being a cyber entity and move into youth ministry, remember you'll tell a little girl she's going to die because she asked to see you. And then remember that you're going to tell her mom that her daughter is going to die and what that means. And remember, Bloggy, that death is always an enemy as much as we try to church it up - it sucks. Very much. Anyway, I'm sitting at Payne's realizing today would have been a glorious day to crawl up on a couch with my girlfriend and watch some chick flick that I secretly wanted to watch - and then I realized as I was reading the Zombie Survival Guide that she didn't exist. I hate rainy afternoons because I love them so much.
My room is almost clean. Almost. And I think that it's almost time for me to urinate. A lot. Like a drunk. Hmmm...a coffee drunk though. Anyway, have a great night kid.
Dr. J
I wonder if anyone could identify all the random film/musical/literary quotes that I use to title you? Anyway, I gave the message at Grace and NCW today, and it went pretty well. We talked about Psalm 51 and 2 Corinthians 5 - I think the delivery was better at NCW (I was able to wear jeans with holes and my 1Life T-shirt) because I had time and didn't feel rushed by having to cram a bunch of stuff in. Anyhoo, I'm tired. My mom came up and we had lunch with two families from church, which leads to an interesting conversation I had with interesting consequences. One of hte families that came over for lunch works with kids at Riley Hospital who have cancer, and one of the families that they help has a dying daughter. Long story short, she was getting better, then got worse, she will die in the next month and then her family goes back to Kenya without her in her body. So tommorow I'm going to go to Indy and counsel this family on matters of death, talk to this little girl and prep her for eternity. Let me say, Bloggy, if you were ever considering stopping being a cyber entity and move into youth ministry, remember you'll tell a little girl she's going to die because she asked to see you. And then remember that you're going to tell her mom that her daughter is going to die and what that means. And remember, Bloggy, that death is always an enemy as much as we try to church it up - it sucks. Very much. Anyway, I'm sitting at Payne's realizing today would have been a glorious day to crawl up on a couch with my girlfriend and watch some chick flick that I secretly wanted to watch - and then I realized as I was reading the Zombie Survival Guide that she didn't exist. I hate rainy afternoons because I love them so much.
My room is almost clean. Almost. And I think that it's almost time for me to urinate. A lot. Like a drunk. Hmmm...a coffee drunk though. Anyway, have a great night kid.
Dr. J
Monday, July 30, 2007
"They have the most beautiful girls in Des Moines..."
So that quote is from On the Road by Jack Kerouac, and it fits with these videos taken when I was working at Ogilville - it's with some guys from my youth group when I took them to Taylor for a college visit. Enjoy...
"Thanks for the memories, even if they weren't so great..."
Dear Bloggy-
I write you a sad note today - at least the beginning of it will be. I went camping with students this weekend and it didn't go so well. In fact, I brought them home early because of their behaviour. It hurts and pisses me off and saddens me and all sorts of things that I had to do this, but I didn't have many other options. Here's the low down - I spent last week running around trying to get everything together for this trip and the students were pretty excited about it and I was busting balls to get everything ready and right. It was going to be sweet - one night at my 'rents house, two days, one night camping (switched from camping and canoeing do to storm predictions), then party two nights with a youth group (for awhile at SpringHill South). Pretty awesome, right? Well, my kiddies got here, got in the van and were fine until Friday around 10:00 am when they started fighting. Not normal stuff, but fighting about EVERYTHING and being very rude and to each other and to the other adult and to myself. Then the rain started and we were stuck in a shelter house most of the evening - not the ideal, but I figure, hey, we can play some games, eat some food and just generally have a good time, right? How wrong was I - people often tell me I'm wrong when I make statements like "I'm the worst youth pastor ever"...and they're probably right, I don't assault students, but as far as being good at what I do, probably not true. Anyhow, my kids avoid me in a shelter house for a good couple of hours even when I try to get them to come over and do stuff (Jenga, would you rather, Ninja/Bono tag, big king monkey, etc.) with me and when I have to tell them to stop fighting. 'Round about 7:00 PM I told them they'd have to cut it out or we'd go back home, and they seemed to understand that this was a legitimate statement. Enter the next morning (after more fighting and arguing), we pack up and head back to the church. Yeah. No so sweet.
The personal aftermath for me leaves questions of whether or not this is a total indictment of my ability to be with students? If I've been here a year and I haven't been able to impact students thus far, what's the point? Is it really a wise choice in my spiritual journey to stay here much longer? Am I going to get fired? Have I lost whatever trust I had with parents, staff members and students? Should I leave? I've never heard of another youth pastor ever having to do something like this - so obviously of my circle of friends, there's something wrong with me, right? Listen Bloggy, I know you don't have the answers to this, and I don't expect you to, but there some of them are.
On other fronts, I went back to Ogilville this weekend and went to church there - that was good. I miss those people so very much. I hung out with some of the students I had there - in fact, I took them with me to Sprinhill because I wanted to still network with managers and whatnot there. It was a blast - I tried to bite my tongue off, but it was good...anyway...more on that later...I need to get to work.
Dr. J
I write you a sad note today - at least the beginning of it will be. I went camping with students this weekend and it didn't go so well. In fact, I brought them home early because of their behaviour. It hurts and pisses me off and saddens me and all sorts of things that I had to do this, but I didn't have many other options. Here's the low down - I spent last week running around trying to get everything together for this trip and the students were pretty excited about it and I was busting balls to get everything ready and right. It was going to be sweet - one night at my 'rents house, two days, one night camping (switched from camping and canoeing do to storm predictions), then party two nights with a youth group (for awhile at SpringHill South). Pretty awesome, right? Well, my kiddies got here, got in the van and were fine until Friday around 10:00 am when they started fighting. Not normal stuff, but fighting about EVERYTHING and being very rude and to each other and to the other adult and to myself. Then the rain started and we were stuck in a shelter house most of the evening - not the ideal, but I figure, hey, we can play some games, eat some food and just generally have a good time, right? How wrong was I - people often tell me I'm wrong when I make statements like "I'm the worst youth pastor ever"...and they're probably right, I don't assault students, but as far as being good at what I do, probably not true. Anyhow, my kids avoid me in a shelter house for a good couple of hours even when I try to get them to come over and do stuff (Jenga, would you rather, Ninja/Bono tag, big king monkey, etc.) with me and when I have to tell them to stop fighting. 'Round about 7:00 PM I told them they'd have to cut it out or we'd go back home, and they seemed to understand that this was a legitimate statement. Enter the next morning (after more fighting and arguing), we pack up and head back to the church. Yeah. No so sweet.
The personal aftermath for me leaves questions of whether or not this is a total indictment of my ability to be with students? If I've been here a year and I haven't been able to impact students thus far, what's the point? Is it really a wise choice in my spiritual journey to stay here much longer? Am I going to get fired? Have I lost whatever trust I had with parents, staff members and students? Should I leave? I've never heard of another youth pastor ever having to do something like this - so obviously of my circle of friends, there's something wrong with me, right? Listen Bloggy, I know you don't have the answers to this, and I don't expect you to, but there some of them are.
On other fronts, I went back to Ogilville this weekend and went to church there - that was good. I miss those people so very much. I hung out with some of the students I had there - in fact, I took them with me to Sprinhill because I wanted to still network with managers and whatnot there. It was a blast - I tried to bite my tongue off, but it was good...anyway...more on that later...I need to get to work.
Dr. J
Saturday, July 21, 2007
"I now pronounce you Husband and Wife"
Dear Bloggy-
I come to you at the end of a long, long day - but a joyous day indeed! I wrote this morning and then drove back to the lodge where I was informed it was my duty to hangout on the beach and enjoy the day - enjoying the day consisted of reading some more of Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" on the side of the lake, eating lunch, playing some baci (Sp?) ball and just generally having a good afternoon. After that, I went up, got dressed, and started getting ready for the wedding.
Anne was beautiful and Chad was darling (did I just sound...ummmm...girly?) and the ceremony went well - I was the last person to call Anne Anne Simmons and the first to refer to her as Anne Hope; I know what you're thinking - such a stud! Anyway, I do have some pictures that the photographers took and I'll be putting them up here soon.
Anyway, the reception was great - lot's of great food, friends, dancing (and an open bar...seven Sam Adam's and two rum and cokes and here I am!). Afterwards we went down to the beach for some late night swimming and fire - oh how sweet it's been!
I did realize some things today though as I was prepping for the wedding, doing my reading and also just kind of existing around the whole wedding scene - are you ready for some crazy awesome realizations? Well here they are bloggy!
1. I miss writing - I haven't been reading any 'good' literature of late. Everything I've been reading has had to do with work or something like that, but today as I was reading "On The Road" something came alive in me again and I'm looking to write - I'm itching to do it. So yeah, hopefully I'll be putting some new stuff together soon and using that typewriter on my desk at home!
2. I miss adventure - Again, "On the Road" reminded me that I used to have adventures and find places and travel and have good times - I haven't done that in forever. I think I've let working in a church 'tame' me - I've lost Aslan's roar and that's not a good thing. I need to start just taking a random trip/adventure/dumb move once a month at least. I need to travel and dig the road (oh Jack! How you write that makes me feel!)
3. Weddings are fun and great and beautiful, but they're only a moment. The marriage begins today, but doesn't end today. It's just the start.
4. I miss having GREAT friends around to talk to and just be with. I miss talking until late in the night about things that matter and having people who hugged and touched and loved (not in a sick sexual way, Bloggy, but in a healthy friend way). I don't have that right now and maybe my loneliness stems from that, but what do I know...I'm no psychologist!
5. I am looking forward to marriage - not tomorrow, but yeah, it's something I want to do. I don't want to wait forever, but it's a good thing - a hard thing to be sure, but good.
SO I think that covers my lessons about myself, bloggy. I know you just love my introspection...
Anyway, it's pretty late and I'm headed to Mars Hill tomorrow for church pretty early, so I'll write you later kid!
Dr. J.
I come to you at the end of a long, long day - but a joyous day indeed! I wrote this morning and then drove back to the lodge where I was informed it was my duty to hangout on the beach and enjoy the day - enjoying the day consisted of reading some more of Jack Kerouac's "On the Road" on the side of the lake, eating lunch, playing some baci (Sp?) ball and just generally having a good afternoon. After that, I went up, got dressed, and started getting ready for the wedding.
Anne was beautiful and Chad was darling (did I just sound...ummmm...girly?) and the ceremony went well - I was the last person to call Anne Anne Simmons and the first to refer to her as Anne Hope; I know what you're thinking - such a stud! Anyway, I do have some pictures that the photographers took and I'll be putting them up here soon.
Anyway, the reception was great - lot's of great food, friends, dancing (and an open bar...seven Sam Adam's and two rum and cokes and here I am!). Afterwards we went down to the beach for some late night swimming and fire - oh how sweet it's been!
I did realize some things today though as I was prepping for the wedding, doing my reading and also just kind of existing around the whole wedding scene - are you ready for some crazy awesome realizations? Well here they are bloggy!
1. I miss writing - I haven't been reading any 'good' literature of late. Everything I've been reading has had to do with work or something like that, but today as I was reading "On The Road" something came alive in me again and I'm looking to write - I'm itching to do it. So yeah, hopefully I'll be putting some new stuff together soon and using that typewriter on my desk at home!
2. I miss adventure - Again, "On the Road" reminded me that I used to have adventures and find places and travel and have good times - I haven't done that in forever. I think I've let working in a church 'tame' me - I've lost Aslan's roar and that's not a good thing. I need to start just taking a random trip/adventure/dumb move once a month at least. I need to travel and dig the road (oh Jack! How you write that makes me feel!)
3. Weddings are fun and great and beautiful, but they're only a moment. The marriage begins today, but doesn't end today. It's just the start.
4. I miss having GREAT friends around to talk to and just be with. I miss talking until late in the night about things that matter and having people who hugged and touched and loved (not in a sick sexual way, Bloggy, but in a healthy friend way). I don't have that right now and maybe my loneliness stems from that, but what do I know...I'm no psychologist!
5. I am looking forward to marriage - not tomorrow, but yeah, it's something I want to do. I don't want to wait forever, but it's a good thing - a hard thing to be sure, but good.
SO I think that covers my lessons about myself, bloggy. I know you just love my introspection...
Anyway, it's pretty late and I'm headed to Mars Hill tomorrow for church pretty early, so I'll write you later kid!
Dr. J.
"By the power vested in me by the state of Michigan and as Minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ..."
Dearest Bloggy-
Okay, so I'm sitting in a Michigan Coffee shop doing some writing now. Anyway, yesterday...yesterday started pretty early by heading North to Michigan. I'm way up in Whitehall, MI, which is about an hour north and west of Grand Rapids right on the lake - it's absolutely beautiful here! Anyway, the drive was pretty uneventful, got here a little early (hey, there's a first time for everything!), so I drove around town which is exactly what you would expect from a small, tourist driven, lakeside Michigan town - so I'm pretty much in love. Anne showed up with Chad, gave me a call and I met back up with them at the lodge, saw where the wedding is going to be (hopefully I'll be able to get pictures!) put my stuff in my room and started reconnecting with people I hadn't seen forever or ever met.
The rehearsal went really well - it's a pretty simple wedding without communion, singing, candles, flower girls, etc., so yeah. The bride and groom had a great time with it and it only took about 30 minutes (just a note - rehearsals for weddings shouldn't take longer than 45 minutes usually). After that we went to dinner at this restaurant about 30 minutes away from the lodge and it was SPECTACULAR!!! They had an open bar for us and the food was great. And it had the mark of a truly great restaurant - Guinness on Tap! 3 sizes - 12, 22, and 33 ounces! Guess which Guinness I had...anyway, the blackened salmon was great and then the peanut butter pie was almost sinful!
We went back, to the lodge, I went and smoked a stog on the beach with Jared and Brett and watched the sunset over the lake (Dear God, thank you for being an artist!). Some regulars who come every year came down to the beach and started a fire, and I hung out with them for about three hours - good people, they gave out beer like it was candy at a parade (I kept it at one - Killian's Irish)! It was a good group and got a lot of interesting conversation out of it...I never want to be a "Christian" who is uncomfortable with just people - I had a good time, shared a little truth and heard their lives. And got free beer. All things Jesus would enjoy. I think.
Anyway, now it's breakfast, blogging, coffee and then back to the lodge to review stuff, write the names in the book (sometimes you forget things when you get nervous!) and then another night of chillin!
Oh, and I might stop by my friends Matt and Nathalie tomorrow to hang out with them post church - it'll be a ball! And I'm going to Mars Hill for Church in the morning! ROCK FREAKING ON!!!
Okay, so I'm sitting in a Michigan Coffee shop doing some writing now. Anyway, yesterday...yesterday started pretty early by heading North to Michigan. I'm way up in Whitehall, MI, which is about an hour north and west of Grand Rapids right on the lake - it's absolutely beautiful here! Anyway, the drive was pretty uneventful, got here a little early (hey, there's a first time for everything!), so I drove around town which is exactly what you would expect from a small, tourist driven, lakeside Michigan town - so I'm pretty much in love. Anne showed up with Chad, gave me a call and I met back up with them at the lodge, saw where the wedding is going to be (hopefully I'll be able to get pictures!) put my stuff in my room and started reconnecting with people I hadn't seen forever or ever met.
The rehearsal went really well - it's a pretty simple wedding without communion, singing, candles, flower girls, etc., so yeah. The bride and groom had a great time with it and it only took about 30 minutes (just a note - rehearsals for weddings shouldn't take longer than 45 minutes usually). After that we went to dinner at this restaurant about 30 minutes away from the lodge and it was SPECTACULAR!!! They had an open bar for us and the food was great. And it had the mark of a truly great restaurant - Guinness on Tap! 3 sizes - 12, 22, and 33 ounces! Guess which Guinness I had...anyway, the blackened salmon was great and then the peanut butter pie was almost sinful!
We went back, to the lodge, I went and smoked a stog on the beach with Jared and Brett and watched the sunset over the lake (Dear God, thank you for being an artist!). Some regulars who come every year came down to the beach and started a fire, and I hung out with them for about three hours - good people, they gave out beer like it was candy at a parade (I kept it at one - Killian's Irish)! It was a good group and got a lot of interesting conversation out of it...I never want to be a "Christian" who is uncomfortable with just people - I had a good time, shared a little truth and heard their lives. And got free beer. All things Jesus would enjoy. I think.
Anyway, now it's breakfast, blogging, coffee and then back to the lodge to review stuff, write the names in the book (sometimes you forget things when you get nervous!) and then another night of chillin!
Oh, and I might stop by my friends Matt and Nathalie tomorrow to hang out with them post church - it'll be a ball! And I'm going to Mars Hill for Church in the morning! ROCK FREAKING ON!!!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Dear Bloggy-
Well I'm here in Michigan at this pretty schwagg lodge getting prepped to do a wedding in the afternoon. The day was swell - the weather perfect - I need to take some pictures! Anyway, I'm headed to bed, but I'll tell you more tommorow, but wow - beached it up with some pretty...neat...older people who come here every year!!
John
Well I'm here in Michigan at this pretty schwagg lodge getting prepped to do a wedding in the afternoon. The day was swell - the weather perfect - I need to take some pictures! Anyway, I'm headed to bed, but I'll tell you more tommorow, but wow - beached it up with some pretty...neat...older people who come here every year!!
John
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Somewhere-----Over the Rainbow...
Bloggy-
So this is a quick one. Just letting you know that today is crazy - I'm getting my stuff together to go perform a wedding in Michigan! Rock on! That meant that I had to call all the kids and remind them about the camping trip (yeah - so far 3 kids are going...all girls...yeah...I need guys in this group). I've got a ton of things to do-and to help myself, I'm going to list those things here:
::: Pack my stuff (duh)
::: Write a slammin' wedding sermon
::: Clean the office
::: Leave a message with the trustees
::: Copy a DVD for K
::: Clean out my car
::: Copy and prep a parent letter
::: Clean my house
::: Make a door sign so people know where I'm at
::: Call M. about sleeping in O-town
I think that covers it. Anyway, it stormed like mad here last night - oh poopy it was AWESOME!!! Okay, just generally excited!! Okay, later bloggy!
Dr. J
So this is a quick one. Just letting you know that today is crazy - I'm getting my stuff together to go perform a wedding in Michigan! Rock on! That meant that I had to call all the kids and remind them about the camping trip (yeah - so far 3 kids are going...all girls...yeah...I need guys in this group). I've got a ton of things to do-and to help myself, I'm going to list those things here:
::: Pack my stuff (duh)
::: Write a slammin' wedding sermon
::: Clean the office
::: Leave a message with the trustees
::: Copy a DVD for K
::: Clean out my car
::: Copy and prep a parent letter
::: Clean my house
::: Make a door sign so people know where I'm at
::: Call M. about sleeping in O-town
I think that covers it. Anyway, it stormed like mad here last night - oh poopy it was AWESOME!!! Okay, just generally excited!! Okay, later bloggy!
Dr. J
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
And so it was...
Dear Bloggy-
Crazy happenings after the last post - I went home after that and was sick for the rest of the day. Yeah. That was no good. I woke up about 4:30 feeling better with just a headache and then went and got things in order for Jenna and Emily to come over to make pizzas and to get ready to meet two students to be in the 4-H parade. Yeah. That was...anyway. The two guys showed up, we drove to the meeting place, got our directions and the parade started - we were handing out candy and flyers left and right. It was your standard Church float fair - giant wooden cross, 2nd rate candy, flyer with spelling error (in my section - and people will probably assume, wrongly, that I produced that section), printed picture of Jesus from the internet....good times. It sounds worse then it actually was. I had a pretty decent time. Anyway, after that got home, got things ready and then Jenna and Emily and I made pizza, brownies and then watched the ever classic ENCINO MAN!! So many plot holes, but so good!
Anyhow, today was catch up with Gary day. He was super helpful as I was looking at what I needed to refine as I'm planning these trips to Pittsburgh and London. WE've got the pastor's blessing and I'm going to put together the parent letter tonight or tommorow to send out by Thursday letting them know and inviting them to an informational meeting and whatnot.
Just trying to think about what else there is to talk about...not a whole lot. I guess I could
Crazy happenings after the last post - I went home after that and was sick for the rest of the day. Yeah. That was no good. I woke up about 4:30 feeling better with just a headache and then went and got things in order for Jenna and Emily to come over to make pizzas and to get ready to meet two students to be in the 4-H parade. Yeah. That was...anyway. The two guys showed up, we drove to the meeting place, got our directions and the parade started - we were handing out candy and flyers left and right. It was your standard Church float fair - giant wooden cross, 2nd rate candy, flyer with spelling error (in my section - and people will probably assume, wrongly, that I produced that section), printed picture of Jesus from the internet....good times. It sounds worse then it actually was. I had a pretty decent time. Anyway, after that got home, got things ready and then Jenna and Emily and I made pizza, brownies and then watched the ever classic ENCINO MAN!! So many plot holes, but so good!
Anyhow, today was catch up with Gary day. He was super helpful as I was looking at what I needed to refine as I'm planning these trips to Pittsburgh and London. WE've got the pastor's blessing and I'm going to put together the parent letter tonight or tommorow to send out by Thursday letting them know and inviting them to an informational meeting and whatnot.
Just trying to think about what else there is to talk about...not a whole lot. I guess I could
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Saturday!!!
Bloggy-
It's Saturday! To me, not much different than my Friday, but I'm still loving it! The weather is amazing, I'm in the office right now for a few minutes (okay, maybe 2 hours) and then I'm going to be working on a message for tommorow night (nothing like waiting to the last minute!) - a GREAT DAY!
My roommates g/f came over today to drop off his surprise b-day present, which was great. He's going to be pretty stoked! Moving right along...I did some baking today - before you get all impressed, most of it was pre-made snickerdoodles that I pretty much bought out of guilt (Who decided that youth pastors where the perfect targets for such salesmanship!?! We totally buy out of fear of hurting someone's feelings...I didn't want cookies! LOL) and then I'm going to work on some Duncan Hines brownies here in a bit. That'll be great. I don't even know why I'm baking - I'm just bored I guess...no, that's not true - I guess it's so my house will smell like a home. Weird? Yeah?
Let's see...what else to share whilst this DVD burns down...I think I'm going to finally put my room together so that I can have people in there without having to apologize! That'll just be sweet --
So, here's what I'm going to do - I'm going to do some reading and then let you know what we'll be talking about at the Vespers service tommorow night, cool? (I am loving this weather!). Aight, peace bloggy!
It's Saturday! To me, not much different than my Friday, but I'm still loving it! The weather is amazing, I'm in the office right now for a few minutes (okay, maybe 2 hours) and then I'm going to be working on a message for tommorow night (nothing like waiting to the last minute!) - a GREAT DAY!
My roommates g/f came over today to drop off his surprise b-day present, which was great. He's going to be pretty stoked! Moving right along...I did some baking today - before you get all impressed, most of it was pre-made snickerdoodles that I pretty much bought out of guilt (Who decided that youth pastors where the perfect targets for such salesmanship!?! We totally buy out of fear of hurting someone's feelings...I didn't want cookies! LOL) and then I'm going to work on some Duncan Hines brownies here in a bit. That'll be great. I don't even know why I'm baking - I'm just bored I guess...no, that's not true - I guess it's so my house will smell like a home. Weird? Yeah?
Let's see...what else to share whilst this DVD burns down...I think I'm going to finally put my room together so that I can have people in there without having to apologize! That'll just be sweet --
So, here's what I'm going to do - I'm going to do some reading and then let you know what we'll be talking about at the Vespers service tommorow night, cool? (I am loving this weather!). Aight, peace bloggy!
Friday, July 13, 2007
"Freedom is the right of every sentient being..."
Bloggy-
So I've seen Transformers three times now - call me a huge nerd, mostly cause I am. It's been amazing the past few times that I've seen it. And I'll make a small confession - I've cried every time Optimus Prime transforms for the first time from semi-tractor trailer to his full on glorious state of Optimus Freaking Prime. How can you not? It's the resurrection of my childhood, the symbol of strength for an entire generation of boys - forget that weirdo "He-Man" (okay, so I would totally go and see a well done He-Man movie because, well, I watched a lot of that as a kid too), Optimus Prime is where it's at! But moving along, the film does delve into some serious (okay...somewhat serious) discussion about human choice, the sin of the father (a wee bit), courage, Linkin Park, and is redemption of the human race possible. The last, of course, is something that has captured my attention (that and the running gun battle that takes up about an hour of the film - which is SO SWEET) - I deal in the business of talking redemption and salvation, but Megatron raises the point to Optimus during a rather heated discussion ("we don't fight in this house young man!") that the human race doesn't deserve to be saved, to which Optimus Prime responds that every species should have the opportunity to chose. We learn two things here: 1. Optimus Prime and John Calvin would not have been friends, 2. Action movies do occasionally have substance (Put that in your [John] Piper and smoke it academy!). Anyway, loved the movie.
Moving on to more important things, my friend Anna came to visit today and that was swell. Anna and I go way back (about five years, which at 23 is like forever) and it was good to catch up. I like having Anna as a friend - she's an honest and good person who is also quick witted and full of movie quotes (although she doesn't want to see Transformers...minus one cool point). We sat around with Josh and just talked and it was good. I miss having Anna around - she's a really good friend and God was good in allowing us to get to know each other. Now, before we move on, at some point in this blog I'm going to chat about stuff that has nothing to do with Anna, so don't get any ideas occasional readers of bloggy! We had our "When Harry Met Sally" conversation long ago!
Yesterday was nerve racking - I went to bed at about 2:30 am because I was doing laundry (we finally got a 'working' washer and dryer!) and cleaning the house because the trustees were coming over to look at the house. In case I haven't fully disclosed my living situation, I live near the church and rent from the trustees - which means that I rent from the people who pay me. Yeah. Talk about weird. Anyway, they wanted to come over and see what colours we painted the house (perfume bath, amaryllis yellow, marigold drop and fresh if you were wondering) which meant that I needed to clean the entire house like it hasn't been cleaned before! I was rather successful in that venture with the help of my super awesome roommate. Anyhow, so I was up late, then got up at 9:00 and went to work, then came home briefly to change, then went and picked up two students, worked a bit on the habitat house and then raced home for the inspection of my home. Yeah. Then went to Transformers. Good times.
I turned my application in at the volunteer fire station in Hartford a couple of days ago - I'm really hoping that I get on in the next few weeks/months - I spent some time with the guys, got to know the chief and assistant chief (who goes to my roommates church) and that was pretty swell. I just think it'd be a great opportunity to get to know some people in town and get to really pour into the community through practical work, dig?
Now for the general musings that come with this blog - I'm struggling with the whole dating thing. Wait - struggle implies that I'm involved in it! :) Anyway, I always hoped that I would transition from being friends with someone for awhile and then date. It seems right and natural - you know the good the bad, how they react, etc., and then you move into a...how to put this...a special friendship. I've got plenty of great friends that are gals (now you understand the warning from earlier), but nothing's really developed over the years. I think that the thing that bothers me about all of this at that it bothers me. I'm pretty aware of the fact that of all my closest friends, I'm pretty much the only guy who is not in a relationship. I guess it wouldn't matter so much if I didn't feel as though I were a failure at something - I guess if you wanted to sit me down on a couch, that's probably the root of the whole thing. People keep asking - mentors, friends, relatives, my parent's, people at church (that's usually their first question when they meet me), everyone, and when I say that I'm single, it's almost like I've disappointed them, and I have a huge problem with that. Granted, that's probably not the only reason (in fact, I know it's not), but I would say it's a significant piece of the pie.
What makes it worse is that at some point somewhere someone was attracted to me, but I create this aura that makes it hard for people to share with me, and I don't know how to change that. I know this because I put up the honesty box application on my facebook profile and got an admission, and it's causing me some serious problems. The biggest is the realization that I'm not a safe person, which is what I've always wanted to be, is just someone that people can feel free to talk to about who they are and what's going on. Granted, this is an attraction issue, so it's probably in a different realm, but to me, they're pretty well connected. Lack of ability to admit long term attraction to me translates into a realization that John (that would be me if you don't know who's blog this is) will move into a posture of judgement and anger. I know that I get heated about issues I care about - the validity and intent of scripture, education, ethics in politics, justice - but do I carry that with me in my day to day? I must, if this is this woman (I don't like boys...it's okay if they don't tell me they're attracted to me) is terrified to tell me that she's liked me for awhile. Another component, and the one that should be the initial reason for personal concern is, what if? Heck, I'm horrible at this kind of thing, but what if? Who knows, all I know is that I'm having a personal breakdown over less than twenty words on facebook. That has to be a whole new level of pathetic!! :D
Anyway, I'm getting ready for the National Youth Workers Convention (did you like that shift? I thought it was slick - but don't worry, there'll be more at some point) - we're going to Atlanta and I've got some really good friends that I'll be traveling down with. It'll be an interesting trip because we have people from all over the theological spectrum and experience gambit - Methodists (both left and right), Church of Christ, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Wesleyan, Evangelical Free, and Independent Charismatic. What a van load! The real question is, did we choose to be here or was this predetermined since the beginning of time?
So I think this may be the last thing, but probably not, I'll just meander until I'm done. I've mentioned before that I'm trying out one of those dating websites (***See "Even Murders Are Getting Married!***), and I've been talking to one gal in particular. We're at the mail phase, which I can say I've never hit before, but it's pretty important to me. Anyway, I bring up this awesomely...weird...piece of my life because I can't even do that well. I'm learning through this process that I'm really bad at personal motivation and really good at unintentionally scarring (not scaring!!) other human beings. I don't even know how to fully explain my screw-up except to say that I should probably find a robot and date her. And beyond that, this whole thing is weird, as I mentioned in the aforementioned post because - well, it's like...it's almost like I'm paying for a breakup! Maybe my lack of hope has something to do with this relationship problem of mine (hardee har har har). I'm probably spending way too much time thinking about this, but I've got way too much time on my hands.
For example, my average day looks something like this:
1. Wake up between 9:00 am and 9:45 am.
2. Take a shower
3. About 10:00 - 10:15 am, roll into the office and tell Paula I'm there
4. Work until 2:00 pm...have lunch or breakfast, whatever you want to call it
5. Work from 2:30 until...neh...usually between 4:00 and 6:00 pm
6. Go home (a long trip mind you)
7. Maybe eat. Maybe see what Hartford people are up to. maybe clean. usually sit around for awhile wishing I had a book for the love of all that is good and holy!
8. Go to bed around midnight or so
9. Repeat until Friday...skip to step 7 from 11:00 am until I sleep
What you don't see is that there is a lot of time away from people (I'm really, REALLY social, but my schedule doesn't show it all that much) and a lot of time to think...A WHOLE LOT. Not good for John. Not good at all! So welcome to this thing, where I ramble on about what goes on in that time by myself. It's important to know that I'm more balanced than I present myself here - I know that there's nothing really wrong with me (outside of the obvious!), but when I'm alone...no one can hear my mind scream (sometimes I blow up glasses with my mind...that makes me happy!).
Now I'm just typing. I'm sitting at Payne's watching the crowd move in and out and that's what I've been doing the entire time. I kinda just want to sitdown at random tables and talk to people, but this doesn't seem like that kind of crowd. But a lot of them seem like they'd have great stories. Okay, now I'm sounding creepy - I'm turning into 'that guy' (but not 'THAT guy' or worse yet [whispers with tears in eyes] 'it was... [looks at ground and holds hands over face...begins to sob]...that guy...').
Okay, so now I'm going to peace out. Maybe I should tell one or two more people about you bloggy. Well, keep it real.
Dr. J
So I've seen Transformers three times now - call me a huge nerd, mostly cause I am. It's been amazing the past few times that I've seen it. And I'll make a small confession - I've cried every time Optimus Prime transforms for the first time from semi-tractor trailer to his full on glorious state of Optimus Freaking Prime. How can you not? It's the resurrection of my childhood, the symbol of strength for an entire generation of boys - forget that weirdo "He-Man" (okay, so I would totally go and see a well done He-Man movie because, well, I watched a lot of that as a kid too), Optimus Prime is where it's at! But moving along, the film does delve into some serious (okay...somewhat serious) discussion about human choice, the sin of the father (a wee bit), courage, Linkin Park, and is redemption of the human race possible. The last, of course, is something that has captured my attention (that and the running gun battle that takes up about an hour of the film - which is SO SWEET) - I deal in the business of talking redemption and salvation, but Megatron raises the point to Optimus during a rather heated discussion ("we don't fight in this house young man!") that the human race doesn't deserve to be saved, to which Optimus Prime responds that every species should have the opportunity to chose. We learn two things here: 1. Optimus Prime and John Calvin would not have been friends, 2. Action movies do occasionally have substance (Put that in your [John] Piper and smoke it academy!). Anyway, loved the movie.
Moving on to more important things, my friend Anna came to visit today and that was swell. Anna and I go way back (about five years, which at 23 is like forever) and it was good to catch up. I like having Anna as a friend - she's an honest and good person who is also quick witted and full of movie quotes (although she doesn't want to see Transformers...minus one cool point). We sat around with Josh and just talked and it was good. I miss having Anna around - she's a really good friend and God was good in allowing us to get to know each other. Now, before we move on, at some point in this blog I'm going to chat about stuff that has nothing to do with Anna, so don't get any ideas occasional readers of bloggy! We had our "When Harry Met Sally" conversation long ago!
Yesterday was nerve racking - I went to bed at about 2:30 am because I was doing laundry (we finally got a 'working' washer and dryer!) and cleaning the house because the trustees were coming over to look at the house. In case I haven't fully disclosed my living situation, I live near the church and rent from the trustees - which means that I rent from the people who pay me. Yeah. Talk about weird. Anyway, they wanted to come over and see what colours we painted the house (perfume bath, amaryllis yellow, marigold drop and fresh if you were wondering) which meant that I needed to clean the entire house like it hasn't been cleaned before! I was rather successful in that venture with the help of my super awesome roommate. Anyhow, so I was up late, then got up at 9:00 and went to work, then came home briefly to change, then went and picked up two students, worked a bit on the habitat house and then raced home for the inspection of my home. Yeah. Then went to Transformers. Good times.
I turned my application in at the volunteer fire station in Hartford a couple of days ago - I'm really hoping that I get on in the next few weeks/months - I spent some time with the guys, got to know the chief and assistant chief (who goes to my roommates church) and that was pretty swell. I just think it'd be a great opportunity to get to know some people in town and get to really pour into the community through practical work, dig?
Now for the general musings that come with this blog - I'm struggling with the whole dating thing. Wait - struggle implies that I'm involved in it! :) Anyway, I always hoped that I would transition from being friends with someone for awhile and then date. It seems right and natural - you know the good the bad, how they react, etc., and then you move into a...how to put this...a special friendship. I've got plenty of great friends that are gals (now you understand the warning from earlier), but nothing's really developed over the years. I think that the thing that bothers me about all of this at that it bothers me. I'm pretty aware of the fact that of all my closest friends, I'm pretty much the only guy who is not in a relationship. I guess it wouldn't matter so much if I didn't feel as though I were a failure at something - I guess if you wanted to sit me down on a couch, that's probably the root of the whole thing. People keep asking - mentors, friends, relatives, my parent's, people at church (that's usually their first question when they meet me), everyone, and when I say that I'm single, it's almost like I've disappointed them, and I have a huge problem with that. Granted, that's probably not the only reason (in fact, I know it's not), but I would say it's a significant piece of the pie.
What makes it worse is that at some point somewhere someone was attracted to me, but I create this aura that makes it hard for people to share with me, and I don't know how to change that. I know this because I put up the honesty box application on my facebook profile and got an admission, and it's causing me some serious problems. The biggest is the realization that I'm not a safe person, which is what I've always wanted to be, is just someone that people can feel free to talk to about who they are and what's going on. Granted, this is an attraction issue, so it's probably in a different realm, but to me, they're pretty well connected. Lack of ability to admit long term attraction to me translates into a realization that John (that would be me if you don't know who's blog this is) will move into a posture of judgement and anger. I know that I get heated about issues I care about - the validity and intent of scripture, education, ethics in politics, justice - but do I carry that with me in my day to day? I must, if this is this woman (I don't like boys...it's okay if they don't tell me they're attracted to me) is terrified to tell me that she's liked me for awhile. Another component, and the one that should be the initial reason for personal concern is, what if? Heck, I'm horrible at this kind of thing, but what if? Who knows, all I know is that I'm having a personal breakdown over less than twenty words on facebook. That has to be a whole new level of pathetic!! :D
Anyway, I'm getting ready for the National Youth Workers Convention (did you like that shift? I thought it was slick - but don't worry, there'll be more at some point) - we're going to Atlanta and I've got some really good friends that I'll be traveling down with. It'll be an interesting trip because we have people from all over the theological spectrum and experience gambit - Methodists (both left and right), Church of Christ, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Wesleyan, Evangelical Free, and Independent Charismatic. What a van load! The real question is, did we choose to be here or was this predetermined since the beginning of time?
So I think this may be the last thing, but probably not, I'll just meander until I'm done. I've mentioned before that I'm trying out one of those dating websites (***See "Even Murders Are Getting Married!***), and I've been talking to one gal in particular. We're at the mail phase, which I can say I've never hit before, but it's pretty important to me. Anyway, I bring up this awesomely...weird...piece of my life because I can't even do that well. I'm learning through this process that I'm really bad at personal motivation and really good at unintentionally scarring (not scaring!!) other human beings. I don't even know how to fully explain my screw-up except to say that I should probably find a robot and date her. And beyond that, this whole thing is weird, as I mentioned in the aforementioned post because - well, it's like...it's almost like I'm paying for a breakup! Maybe my lack of hope has something to do with this relationship problem of mine (hardee har har har). I'm probably spending way too much time thinking about this, but I've got way too much time on my hands.
For example, my average day looks something like this:
1. Wake up between 9:00 am and 9:45 am.
2. Take a shower
3. About 10:00 - 10:15 am, roll into the office and tell Paula I'm there
4. Work until 2:00 pm...have lunch or breakfast, whatever you want to call it
5. Work from 2:30 until...neh...usually between 4:00 and 6:00 pm
6. Go home (a long trip mind you)
7. Maybe eat. Maybe see what Hartford people are up to. maybe clean. usually sit around for awhile wishing I had a book for the love of all that is good and holy!
8. Go to bed around midnight or so
9. Repeat until Friday...skip to step 7 from 11:00 am until I sleep
What you don't see is that there is a lot of time away from people (I'm really, REALLY social, but my schedule doesn't show it all that much) and a lot of time to think...A WHOLE LOT. Not good for John. Not good at all! So welcome to this thing, where I ramble on about what goes on in that time by myself. It's important to know that I'm more balanced than I present myself here - I know that there's nothing really wrong with me (outside of the obvious!), but when I'm alone...no one can hear my mind scream (sometimes I blow up glasses with my mind...that makes me happy!).
Now I'm just typing. I'm sitting at Payne's watching the crowd move in and out and that's what I've been doing the entire time. I kinda just want to sitdown at random tables and talk to people, but this doesn't seem like that kind of crowd. But a lot of them seem like they'd have great stories. Okay, now I'm sounding creepy - I'm turning into 'that guy' (but not 'THAT guy' or worse yet [whispers with tears in eyes] 'it was... [looks at ground and holds hands over face...begins to sob]...that guy...').
Okay, so now I'm going to peace out. Maybe I should tell one or two more people about you bloggy. Well, keep it real.
Dr. J
Saturday, June 30, 2007
So it's been awhile bloggy, but here I am! To fill you in, I've been doing VBS all week, which has been crazy...in fact Krazy because as we both know, children are not my strong suite. Anyhoo, in the course of doing VBS I got to be the story teller and help with football - that was good. Yep. The music - well it was little kid music with that slight feel of "are we teaching these kids the aryan heresy?" For example, one of the lines in a particular song went something like "The Bible says that Jesus was a joyful human man!" Okay, there's a lot of debate to be had here, you throw in the Isaiah 53 passage (which any good Jew will tell you is about the sufferings of the nation of Israel, but we'll stick with the Catholic/Orthodox reading that it's about Jesus.) where it talks about Messiah being a "Man of Constant Sorrows" (and that can be taken a couple of ways), the discussion of if Jesus were Divine (which I strongly hold that He was...hence the capitilization of He)...so you see that at times my head was going to explode over 'minor' details like that. Oh, and some song that sounded just like "All Star" by that band...oh...I don't know...they did the Shrek soundtrack...anyway - yeah, it was the EXACT same song except there were a few changes like - well, let's just say that it was so minor that I'm glad I wasn't the one that had to worry about artistic originality!
Moving right along, last night was the Relay for Life and I 'volunteered' to walk from 2:00 am - 4:00 am. It wasn't so bad - and I really did volunteer. A bunch of middle schoolers who are in the orbit of the church were there and they pretty much moved as a herd - if one walked, they all walked. Man, what would've happened if one of them had taken the "Black Pill?" Scary! Anyway, I've decided that if I have one daughter, it's time to stop. Not that I have the ability to have children at this point, but when that comes up, yeah, stopping at one. The reason I say this is all I see is how sisters fight and I refuse- did you hear? - REFUSE to deal with that in my own home. If, by some cruel twist of fate (or divine Judgement) I do have two daughters...I'm putting one up for adoption. Probably the most annoying one. I'm just kidding...but seriously?
In other news, Samantha is pretty sick. I've tried some over the counter fuel system cleaner, but Idon't think that's going to do the trick this time around. She needs a doctor, so I'm taking her to the dealership on Monday and they're going to charge me $65 to tell me what's wrong and then offer to fix it for like $1000 more...did I mention that I, as a twenty something youth pastor who just started his job, don't have that kind of money? Oh well, I hear the devil is always buying souls, at least according to twentieth century musicians.
Let's see, I guess I'll avoid angry ranting about being single (or does this count as that?), but I will say that I miss a lot of my friends. Oh. :( Well, off to planning world dominiation (or a bonfire tonight, whatever....it's all the same, right?)
Moving right along, last night was the Relay for Life and I 'volunteered' to walk from 2:00 am - 4:00 am. It wasn't so bad - and I really did volunteer. A bunch of middle schoolers who are in the orbit of the church were there and they pretty much moved as a herd - if one walked, they all walked. Man, what would've happened if one of them had taken the "Black Pill?" Scary! Anyway, I've decided that if I have one daughter, it's time to stop. Not that I have the ability to have children at this point, but when that comes up, yeah, stopping at one. The reason I say this is all I see is how sisters fight and I refuse- did you hear? - REFUSE to deal with that in my own home. If, by some cruel twist of fate (or divine Judgement) I do have two daughters...I'm putting one up for adoption. Probably the most annoying one. I'm just kidding...but seriously?
In other news, Samantha is pretty sick. I've tried some over the counter fuel system cleaner, but Idon't think that's going to do the trick this time around. She needs a doctor, so I'm taking her to the dealership on Monday and they're going to charge me $65 to tell me what's wrong and then offer to fix it for like $1000 more...did I mention that I, as a twenty something youth pastor who just started his job, don't have that kind of money? Oh well, I hear the devil is always buying souls, at least according to twentieth century musicians.
Let's see, I guess I'll avoid angry ranting about being single (or does this count as that?), but I will say that I miss a lot of my friends. Oh. :( Well, off to planning world dominiation (or a bonfire tonight, whatever....it's all the same, right?)
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